I really don’t know where to start this, so here it goes...
I guess I’ll start with how I heard about ‘Brotectors.’ One of my closest mates, who means the world to me, had a zoom call with Aaron. I know that my friend has had professional help off a lot of people, but when speaking to Aaron, he found him a lot more understanding than anyone else. My mate knows he can come to me whenever he needs to talk, but there’s obviously something about speaking to someone you don’t know and letting it all out.
Anyway, I think it’s fair to say like many others, none of my friends know what I’ve been going through for the last 4/5 years. In the past I’ve tried to explain myself to my best mates, but I have always struggled to fully open up.
I’ve found myself embarrassed about certain things which I shouldn’t be.
I now know it’s been hard for myself because I’m such an outgoing, funny (ish) person and I’ve always been a confident guy from a young age, always trying to have a laugh and make other people happy. I get a weird rewarding feeling from making others happy and laugh!
Since the age of 15 I’ve hit the party life very hard, harder than most... playing rugby with my mates, going out every Friday and Saturday. From the ages 16 to 19 I used to enjoy my nights out, but then I found myself drinking for the wrong reasons. I wasn’t drinking to have fun; I was drinking to escape reality which was slowly getting worse as I matured/got older.
I now know that maturing for me was realising and accepting I can’t have anyone else’s life apart from my own. I really struggled to learn this, but I’ve learnt it the hard way.
I’ve had a lovely upbringing; one I cannot thank my mother and father enough for. But saying that, they have also taught me a lot of hard lessons without trying to, if that makes sense. When I was younger, I was silly and all I was interested in was being out and about, and I didn’t realise how bad my family life was.
I’m not the smartest chip off the block and I never have been, so I only came to realise my situation in my 20s. This is when I found myself battling with my own head, I never thought in a million years I’d be one to suffer with bad anxiety or minor depression... ever! I was ignoring it for so long, some nights crying myself to sleep, same days not speaking a word to anyone!
It’s crazy writing this because I’m terrible with my words, but I’d go on jogs which would take me over a bridge, and I would stop some nights and consider jumping. I knew it was bad, I just didn’t know what to do.
Then I got in contact with Brotectors as I had nothing to lose at this point, I hadn’t fully opened up to anyone, so I was willing to give it a go to see if it helped... from the first 5 minutes with speaking to Aaron, he explained his background and what he’s got up to and our situations were very different. He made me feel so comfortable with my problems which I never thought anyone would. Aaron was the first person I have ever fully opened up to, he helped me so much, I still don’t think he knows. I owe him the biggest thank you and more.
The zoom call started with me bawling my eyes out, to me laughing. Just one, one hour zoom call had already done so much for me.
He’s helped me realise I can’t change anyone’s else life but my own, to look after the little things and the big things, not to play with fire and to just walk away from silly, negative situations.
I genuinely feel Aaron’s got me back on my feet when I was at my lowest, don’t get me wrong I’m still miles away from my goal of happiness and I’ve still got lots a changes to make.
But that one, one hour zoom call was all I needed to put me back on track, I am so happy I did it.
Thank you Brotectors!