I’m pretty sure we all have those times when we wish we were a little more confident. Maybe you’re trying to get that girl or guy’s attention, maybe you’re after that promotion in work, or perhaps you just want to get more involved with your friend group.
Being a confident person has a lot to do with how you view yourself. People struggle with low self-esteem when they think poorly of themselves and judge themselves against others. I’m not cool enough, I’m not big enough, I’m not strong enough, my look and style need work. All these negative thoughts will lead to a dip in your confidence whether you’re a young man or a bit more mature. It’s human nature to have a fear to fail, and we all feel the struggle of everyday life but questioning your confidence isn’t really a bad thing, it means you are mindful.
Alpha male. That God-like guy that we all aspire to be. Yeh, he’s cool, he’s a Do-it-Yourself guy, always learning, doesn’t hesitate, has no comfort zone and boosts confidence! There’s no reason we can’t be this guy, we must just train our minds to feel worthy, to feel self-assured, to believe in ourselves.
Let’s jump into a few ideas that can help you find confidence. First, look out for the points you don’t feel so positive about and take that as your starting point.
Do we ever know who we truly are? Do we not change with age, experience, and life situations? Maybe yes, but we do know our core values, what we believe in, what we like and don’t, and our skills and what we’re good at. These things will never change. However, we can all grow in self-confidence if we feel we need to by putting the work in, repeating those daily habits, reflecting on our strengths, and accepting our weaknesses. Recognising these things will empower you to do better, keep going, identify where you can improve, and give you the confidence you need in finding out who you are.
Confident men take action. They may still get a little nervous, a little anxious, but it doesn’t hold them back, they jump anyway, whereas the insecure man will sit on the sideline. These are experiences we all feel, and taking action doesn’t even have to be heavy, it can be the smallest and simplest of things that will make a difference to how you feel. For example, going for a workout or a run when you feel low, journaling and writing out your goals with a plan of how you’re going to get there, opening up and talk to someone if you need the support, and creating a fierce self-care routine to improve your skin and your hair and therefore your looks... confidence booster right there! Don’t overwhelm yourself, start small. Break it down into manageable tasks and fight one battle at a time.
>Fail, and fail again
We’ve all made mistakes numerous times on numerous occasions, it’s human nature, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, embrace them, we need to be okay with failure. When you learn that making mistakes happens, you will embrace failure and use it as proof that you took action in the first place. You will become more self-aware, you won’t be afraid of failure, you’ll see it as a challenge to do better next time. A favourite saying of mine; I never lose, I win, or I learn. So grab those inevitable failures, stay positive for your next go, and you will inevitably become a more confident man.
>Look after yourself
This one is easy. Looking after yourself will, of course, make you feel good. Eat a well-balanced diet, workout, get fresh air, start a skincare routine, keep clean, look after your hair. Grooming your body is the perfect way to boost your confidence. You’ll look good, you’ll smell good, your skin will be good, and you’ll feel amazing! If you have any self-value, then self-care should come naturally to you. Surround yourself with good, confident, supportive people who’ll have your back and jump on that self-care path. Your body and brain will thank you later.
Self-confidence is not something we’re born with, it’s something we must find. Granted, it comes more naturally to some, but generally, we must go in pursuit of it. One part of the confidence puzzle is the ability to push yourself. Push yourself to do those things you don’t want to, to get out of your comfort zone, accept the discomfort. Go to the gym a few times a week, head out for a run, spend time on your skincare routine, practice new habits, do the meditation. Push yourself to new limits and reap the rewards. Even just doing one new thing a week, facing one new fear will give you growth, and with that comes confidence. Confidence in knowing you are pushing yourself to do the best you can to reach your potential.
There’s always negativity in this world, but a confident man will always look past this and concentrate on the positive side of any situation, he knows it’s going to be good for him and for his mental health. Obsessing over negative realities will not help the circumstances you find yourself in, so all we can do is look up and move on. It’s hard, we all know this. Something bad happens, and that’s it, you feel like you can’t go on. It’s all over. But acknowledging what’s happened will help you to find a way out. Don’t just take the card you’ve been dealt; life is not a poker game. If you feel stuck or insecure about something, take time to think about it, write it down, adjust your thoughts and focus on how this can be flipped around. It may take time, but it will empower you to always see the good. Whether you’re a glass half full or glass half empty kind of guy, just remember that the glass is always refillable.
>Believe in yourself
Being happy is a must, and having that life you dream of with a successful career, love, adventure, and money is the goal! We are all worthy of happiness and achieving these dreams, but it’s not about feeling you deserve them, it’s about believing you can make it happen. You need to believe in yourself, in your abilities, skills and passions and know that you and only you are the driver of your own success. Practice self-love, create healthy routines, work on some meditative and visual techniques to help see your plans become a reality. Feed your mind with positive and inspirational content, and maybe shift your focus to your weaknesses to make them your strengths. Self-belief is about finding your inner strength. Embrace life’s journey, hit the challenges head-on, react in a positive light, and believe that you can do anything. Never give up.
Learning is a great confidence booster. If you can learn new skills new traits, it will 100% give you a boost and make you feel invincible! In order to learn more, you must acknowledge that you don’t know everything, and this in itself is a good lesson. Being open and asking for help is a good move how to use a machine at the gym, how to create a skincare routine, how to fix a problem with your car, how to cope when you’re feeling low. Asking for help and being willing to learn already makes you confident, and there will be no judgement. Growing in knowledge, whether that’s learning from a friend, reading a book, or figuring it out on your own, will add to your character, and you will become more confident as a result.
We’re the sum total of all the decisions we make, and making the decision to be confident is a good start. Get your head in the right place, stay positive, have a plan, and go smash it. Good luck on your journey! You’ve got this.