My journey with mental health became apparent to me in 2015 at the age of 27, that feeling of no light at the end of the tunnel, fake smiles and putting all your effort into just getting out of bed in the morning. This was my life for over a year, the overwhelming emotions compounded until the day my local GP had confirmed what I had been denying to myself for so long. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
I had a great job, great friends, I holidayed numerous times a year all of which an outsider would question why I have depression. People who don’t fully understand can portray mental health as phase and something you can snap out of. I never told anyone of my struggle for fear of being judged and because I felt everyone had enough on their plate without me moaning about my life.
One day I will always remember forever, and this is what inspires me to keep pushing, I returned home from a long day at work, sat on my sofa and just burst into tears. I recall thinking I have no purpose, I don’t want to be here anymore and wondered would anyone come to my funeral? This was rock bottom, a place I truly believe you can have an awakening, a make or break moment.
With a reluctance to take medication or ask for help, I began researching alternatives I became engrossed with the Law of Attraction, breathing exercises, meditation, yoga, and Reiki all of which to this day I practice keeping those demons from coming back. The road with mental health can be a bumpy one but with the right support, it is possible. My biggest regret is that I did not speak out sooner and seek help. At the time there was the fear of being judged by others. There is an abundance of helplines and organisations now available anonymously that I wish I had access to in 2015.
When you experience such an emotional rollercoaster alone, you realise that you wouldn’t want anyone else to feel the way you did it that period of time. I believe everything happens for a reason and that my journey so far was a path I was meant to take, I have been lucky enough to join Brotectors in my spare time, a mental health organisation whose mission is to break the stigma associated to mental health. Working with Aaron Corria the founder our shared vision of breaking the taboo surrounding mental health in men.
Brotectors offer podcasts, eBooks and we are soon to begin mental health walks, where like-minded individuals can share as little or as much as they like about mental health without fear of judgement.
It’s just the beginning.