Just a little over 2 years ago, I found myself in the trickiest and most uncomfortable situation I had ever experienced. Even more so than the numerous times I had been out on patrol and in contacts in the hot sun, eating dust – whilst trying to keep me and my brothers around me alive.
I was leaving the military. Not due to choice, but due to injury. I thought everything was going to be fine; I figured I had my sh** in one sock.
The reality was very different. I had just had what I thought was going to be a solid job pulled from underneath my feet in a flash.
My son was due in a couple of weeks.
The house I had just bought was condemned a day after purchase – and I was leaving the military in two days’ time.
To top it all off, I had put in well over 200 job applications, only to be told: “No, sorry you don’t have any experience for this role.”
I felt my world suddenly crumbling around me. Not only did I have one child to look after and a wife – I now had another on the way, with no real sense of how I was going to support it all. Especially now the roof over our heads was also gone.
I went into a deep anger and resentment; I became anxious, depressed, intolerable to those close to me. A hideous set of events.
It was at this point I had to overcome one of my biggest fears: asking for help.
I had never really thought it was okay to ask for help before. It was taboo, due to the fact I was a Royal Marines Commando, and had to keep up the perception that I was a ‘tough guy’.I began by reaching out to about every possible charity that helped with veterans. It wasn’t pleasant, but the reality: I was going one way if I didn’t.
I sought the help I needed and – within a period of 5 weeks using the right support – I had almost completely turned my life around. After 8, I had secured a role in London as a consultant for a large firm. Stability. Great.
Then came the next part in the journey: Vanguard Global Solutions.Ben and I had both been eyeing up our respective coaching businesses for a period of about 6 months. We tried to speak to one another on multiple occasions over that period – but failed.
We kept going.
Once we hopped off the two-hour long zoom call, we instantly knew we both were onto a winner with one another.
We both shared an extreme passion for helping others.
We rapidly got back in communication and spent the next week creating our futures.
Things moved very fast for us and within a period of a year, we had already coached, spoken at or advised some of the UK’s biggest names and personalities. It was incredible.
What got us there? Belief. Belief in why we are doing it, and the belief in ourselves. I want to give a message to all men who have been in my situation, in my situation now, or yet to be:
“Trust yourself and never allow the opinions of others to become your reality.”
I lost trust and faith in myself and it resulted in turmoil. As soon as I switched the attitude in my mind (with the support I was receiving) my life changed, drastically.As a MESOA champion, I would hope that you find faith in yourself through me.
Believe a little in me, so that I can help be that support I once received.The reality is we’re all equal and, when that sinks in, the reality of asking for help becomes that bit easier.
You cannot change destination overnight, but you can change direction – and that can come in the form of reaching out to us at VGS.
By joining MESOA, I am dedicated to sharing my story on how I went full circle – and found a way out of my situation. Not by myself, but by overcoming the fear to ask for help.
Something us ‘men’, suffer from not doing enough of.I guarantee that the power of this community will shake the world and ensure a solid foothold for men in the 21st century; by applying a sense of relevance to all that we do. It is not easy – but it is simple.
I intend to, with the power of what Ben (my business partner) and I have created, support the MESOA message and everything associated with it.