In lockdown I gained weight, spent far too much money online purely out boredom, had trouble sleeping and became moody and irritable.
These were some of the statements my self talk repeated to me over and over and over. I could only escape them at the weekends where a double vodka and coke would be my medicine.
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One day I will always remember forever, and this is what inspires me to keep pushing, I returned home from a long day at work, sat on my sofa and just burst into tears. I recall thinking I have no purpose.
It’s predicted that we will see higher rates of most mental illnesses and we have already noticed that depression and anxiety disorders are particularly connected to lockdown
I will open by saying I am in no way a professional in mental health. This is simply the story of my 2019, and how I held myself together during my year of isolation.
I’m on a steady, and happy road to recovery now, taking back control of my life one step at a time. This is what helped me, and I hope it can in some way help you too.
Throughout my professional career I never really fully understood the issues surrounding mental health until I became affected. Playing rugby for over 17 years was a privilege and something I never took for granted. I felt as if I had been chosen, one of the lucky ones and I knew one day it would have to come to a stop. We all say that we are ready to stop, but who are we kidding? To play a sport 90% of the population do for a hobby professionally is something to be very proud of and becomes part of your DNA.